Latest Pet Peeve

people who pronounce “jaguar” as though it were spelled “jag wire”

TvDetective Quote #9

“I asked B— if we could get a triple-pronged dildo—you know, 2 for me, 1 for him—and he said ‘sure.’  I really think this is the one.”

TvDetective Quote #8

“I threw this really awesome cucumber out the other day.  I just wish I could bring myself to be disgusting. Slap a condom on that and go to town.”

TvD's new word

TvD came up with a new word that I thought should be shared with the rest of the world.  She was reading one of those… classic spam messages that asked the immortal question, “Has your cum ever dribbled when you wanted it to squirt?”  This prompted a discussion of the art of ejaculation with a lady friend of hers, and they both agreed that although they prefered that their lover’s manchowder would dribble ever-so-daintily into their belly button so as to be easily wiped up with a kleenex or two (or three or four), the male of the species prefers to blow their wad as porno-volumninously and messily as possible, in a style more reminiscent of a Jackson Pollack painting than of a mere sexual act.  It was at this point that TvD came (no pun intended) up with the wonderful new word, “ejacrobatics” or “ejackrobatics” (soon to be a major motion picture) to descibe this style of sex that boys have clearly learned by watching too much Jeff Stryker, John Holmes, and Rocco Siffredi. 

Ahead of my time

It’s not easy being ahead of your time.  It sounds great, doesn’t it?  “He’s ahead of his time.”  But what it really means is that nobody listens to you, nobody respects you, nobody follows your suggestions until the need to do so becomes self-evident, by which time everyone forgot that it was your advice in the first place, and they often credit someone else who thought of the idea months or years after you first proposed it and were shot down.  Someone on the INTP list (Tink?) said “If it's NEW and it's BRILLIANT an INTP thought of it AGES AGO!”  I couldn’t agree more.

Fishy Quote #10

"I can't hear you! I've gone blind!"

New Saying

“A complete part of this hairy breakfast.”

Sorry. No explanations.  It’s a TvD-and-Me thang.

Junior Mints

Here’s my idea.  I was thought of it on the walk back from CVS with TvDetective.  I will time myself to see how long it takes me to eat one junior mint.  Let’s say 5 seconds.  Then I will pay someone to walk next to me with a bowl of junior mints and pop one in my mouth every 5 seconds.  Pretty nifty, huh?

Veronica Mars Website

So I’m sitting here watching Veronica Mars (which and whom I love), and this voiceover comes on encouraging me to checkout the NEW Veronica Mars website, which has “exciting” “new” features.  And I’m thinking to myself, How exciting can they be?  Don’t get me wrong; I’m all about Veronica Mars.  But unless they’ve got Logan Echols/Jason Dohring buck ass naked, I really can’t imagine what I’m going to get out of the website.  But you know what? In the interest of fairness, I’ll go check it out now. You wait here.

Ok I’m back.  So there are some IM buddy icons, each of which advertises the showtime. You can download some wallpapers. A who’s who done up as a family tree. Some interviews, video clips, trivia game, etc.  Ok, ok, i have to admit better than i”d expected.  But I still wouldn’t call any of it “exciting.” Of course, it’s probably all aimed at high school students, who get excited by pretty much anything.

Hornet Attack

TvDetective and I had lunch today. We were sitting on a bench when all of a sudden there was this loud buzzing and fluttering sound, and next thing I knew, something hit the ground in front of us. It turned out it was a HUGE hornet and a cicada, fighting. The cicada struggled a little bit more, buzzing and flapping its wings wildly for a few more moments until it finally just stopped moving. The hornet appeared to continue attacking it for a couple more seconds, and then it started dragging the cicada—which was every bit as big as the hornet itself, maybe bigger—across the pavement. I kept wondering where it was going to take it. It just kept dragging it until it got to the edge of the sidewalk, where there was a 3 or 4 inch curb to go over. Ok, i figured this was it, and it was just trying to drag its prey out of the way of the oncoming foot traffic. But amazingly, the hornet just “jumped” up over the curb, cicada in tow, and kept dragging it across the grass and dirt toward the nearby tree. Maybe there was a burrow in the ground where the hornet kept its food? No. It started dragging the cicada right up the tree! By the time we finally left, it was at least 12 feet up the tree. I still don’t know what it’s going to do with the cicada. Does it lay eggs inside it? Does it suck the juices dry? I don’t know, but it was just amazing to watch.

update: thanks to fishy, i now know that it wasn't a hornet, but a wasp. A cicada killer wasp, specifically. he found this page with a photo that looks EXACTLY like what TvD and I saw:

http://www.whatsthatbug.com/killerwasps.html

It turns out the cicada isn't dead yet; just paralyzed. And the reason the wasp was taking the cicada up the tree was just to get enough height to fly back to its burrow because the cicada is so heavy! As fishy said, "kinda ingenious." Then he said, "gotta switch networks," and signed off. Helpful bastard.

TvDetective Quote #7

We had lunch today and we were talking about her boyfriend.  She volunteered the following information:

“Sometimes when he fucks me, my earrings fly off.”

I adore this woman.

Pope Hates Homos

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1558063,00.html

Turns out the Vatican is currently planning to block gay men from becoming priests.  (The article doesn’t say whether lesbian nuns will still be allowed.)  I, on the other hand, would have gone a different route and blocked bigots from becoming Pope.  Why Catholics—especially gay Catholics—don’t leave the church en masse is beyond me.  Because the gay Catholics I know are out there violating scripture left and right anyway, so they clearly aren’t THAT devoted to the Church’s teachings. 

Google Talk

GoogleTalk, Google’s new chat / IM client was released yesterday in beta.  I downloaded it immediately and began playing with it, mostly talking with my sister and with TvDetective after forcing them to signup too.

The Good:

1. EXTREMELY simple to download and install
2. Intuitive to use
3. No clutter, no ads, no pop-ups, no news, no extra windows, no spyware, etc.
4. Excellent voice chat that even my parents could use. 

The Bad:

1. Requires gmail account
2. Doesn’t save chat transcripts for you
3. No group chats
4. Nobody uses it (yet, anyway) so there’s nobody to chat with
5. No good reason to switch from AIM or MSN or YIM.  It offers no additional features, and lacks several that the other services already offer.

The fact that GoogleTalk requires a gmail account isn’t inherently bad; after all, all of the IM services out there require you to sign up for an account of some sort.  But the gmail account links your IM info to your email info and your search info, so Google is really able to build up quite a database about individuals.  Plus, gmail is now open to everyone, but the way you get a new account is via your cellphone, which is yet one more critical piece of info they have about you.  At least up until now you were just an anonymous user,  but once they have your cellphone #, they can link your info to a real person.  That’s getting a little scary for my taste (which prompted me to switch my default search engine to Clusty btw).

If you have Trillian Pro, you can use it as your GoogleTalk client, and that way you can save transcripts of IM chats, but it doesn’t support the audio chat as far as I can tell.  I will probably keep Google’s client around for voice chat only, but I don’t see a reason to use it for IM.  The only things that could change my mind on that front would be 1) if it became interoperable with AOL Instant Messenger (which is where most of my chat friends are), or 2) all of my friends switched to GoogleTalk.

Others seem to agree with my analysis, except they also complain about the lack of a search box.  I’m not sure i understand this, unless they’re talking about search of past chats.  Because if they just want to search the web, they should open their browser, which they have to do anyway in order to look at any of their search results, right?

Anyway, that’s my 2 cents.

What I want from the Democratic Party if they ever want me to vote for them again

I'm tired of voting for the lesser of two evils. I'm tired of voting *against* the Republicans instead of *for* the Democrats. And so I've decided not to do it anymore until the Dems can prove themselves worthy.

1. Use the word “lied.” I am tired of people saying that the President “mislead” the American people, that people “misconstrued” his statements. He LIED! He’s a dirty LIAR! Why won’t the Democrats say it?! He lied to us and to the world. Willfully, intentionally, and repeatedly.

2. Call yourself “Liberals” and define the term for the American people. Democrats run from the “Liberal” label like it’s a dirty word. I’m a liberal and I’m proud of it. Liberals believe that government should be for the good of the people. That it’s the government’s job to help its citizens. Liberals believe that billionaires should pay a higher tax rate than people living in squalor. Liberals believe that threats and brute force and armed invasion of other countries should be used only as a last resort rather than as a primary tactic in solving international disputes. Liberals think that killing people is wrong and therefore oppose the death penalty. Liberals believe that corporations do not deserve the same rights as human beings. Liberals believe that people should have medical care and a good education. Liberals believe in a minimum wage that lets people live above the poverty line. They believe that people should not be allowed to roam the streets carrying automatic weapons. They believe that public transportation is a good thing. They support laws that fight discrimination. Liberals believe that without laws to prevent it, corporations will put profits ahead of people. Liberals believe that people should be allowed to practice their own religion whatever it may be and not have someone else’s religious beliefs forced on them. If you believe these things, then you are a liberal too.

3. Oppose the war. Dammit! The war is wrong. SAY IT! SAY IT! This is a war that was based on LIES. (remember? "lies," that word that the Democrats won't say?) It has killed tens of thousands of innocent people. It has destroyed families, ruined the credibility and respect of the United States around the world, destabilized the Middle East, and threatened our national security more than it ever was before 9/11. And yet the Democrats still won’t take a stand.

4. Make the case for gay marriage. There is an excellent case to be made for civil gay marriage. If the Democrats *honestly* believe that gays and lesbians should not be allowed to get married the same way heterosexual people are, then they are every bit the bigots that the Republicans are. The Dems are always saying, “I believe in civil unions for gay couples, but marriage should be reserved for heterosexuals.” They are saying--in a very literal way--that gay people should not have the same rights as straight people. Replace the word “gay” in that sentence with the word “black” or “muslim” or “handicapped” and see if you can get away with a statement like that.

5. Stand up for the separation of church and state. Explain that you can be religious on your own time, and that if your religious beliefs interfere with your ability to fulfill your duties as a judge or lawmaker or fireman or army sergeant or teacher, then you need to find a new line of work. Explain that allowing one religion into government means allowing them all. For the Christians out there who want prayer in schools, how would you feel if your child recited a Muslim prayer at the dinner table he'd learned in school that day, or started doing Buddhist meditation after watching a fellow student or teacher do the same during "quiet time" ? Religion is an important part of our country, our society, and the world, but it must remain separate from government. So why won't the Democrats just say so?

What all of this comes down to is: “Do the right thing.” The reason that the Democrats do NONE of these things is that they are afraid of offending people. They are afraid of losing votes. Well NEWS FLASH: You’re already losing votes! You control ZERO out of three branches of government. Do you think George Freaking Bush cares what people think of him?! Do you think Carl Rove or Dick Cheney are afraid of losing votes by making unpopular decisions or passing laws that piss people off?? Hell no. They have an agenda. They know exactly what they want to do, they announce what they’re going to do, and then they go do it. A little more than half of the voters cheer, the rest boo and cry and hiss, and the result is the government that we live with today.

Are you going to lose votes by opposing the war, supporting gay marriage, and otherwise standing up for what’s right? Damn straight. But you’ll gain votes too, and whether you're elected or not, you can go to bed safe in the knowledge that the votes you DID get didn’t come from bigotted uncaring warmongering conservatives who think that their own welfare and religious beliefs are more important than everyone else’s.

Sears Sucks, PART FIVE

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The repairman called this morning (the 24th), and I told him there was no part and therefore there would be no reason for him to come. He said he'd call the customer repair center and let them know that I still didn't have the part. After my shower, I called Sears again to find out what was going on with this freaking part that still hadn't shown up. The woman told me that it was back ordered w/ Fridgidaire.

I don't understand how this is possible since not only was it EMERGENCY reordered on Saturday, but Sears actually called me back to confirm a delivery date of YESTERDAY, and it seems that if they knew what date it was going to be delivered, then they would also have known whether or not the part was in stock in the first place!!

But anyway, she told me that they've now re-ordered (although technically it's RE-re-ordered) it and that it will arrive tomorrow. Then she told me that the soonest she could schedule the repair is for September 1, ANOTHER WEEK FROM NOW! At that point, I told her--in a slightly raised tone of voice--something like, "As you can see from your computer, this has been going on for a very long time, and you can imagine how frustrated I am by this. I know it's not your fault personally, so if I sound angry, it's not at you, it's at Sears, with whom I am incredibly unhappy." She was sympathetic (my problem has never been with the customer service agents themselves) and said, "actually, we can schedule the repair for August 31. It's only a day, but it's something." I agreed, it was better than nothing, and we rescheduled for Wednesay, August 31, which is another SIX DAYS instead of week. I hung up and sighed.

Then, a few minutes later a different woman called from Sears to tell me that the part will arrive "in the next couple of days" and that my repair appointment is scheduled for next

I swear I should sell the movie rights to this story. Stay tuned...

Sears Sucks...you guessed it: PART FOUR!

So what's a part 3 without a part 4 to follow up, right??

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

So we left off on Saturday, August 20. You'll remember that i was going to follow up by calling Sears back to see if we could move up the latest scheduled repair date because they wanted me to wait an additional NINE days. So I called them. They told me that they would have my local Sears customer service people call me back, which they did a short while later.

I spoke with a very nice woman named Maria (or maybe it was Mary, but I think it was Maria). She was very helpful and immediately bumped up the repair to the 24th (tomorrow). She also "emergency" reordered the missing part. She actually called back a second time to let me know that it would be delivered by DHL on the 23rd (which, you'll recall, is today), the day before the actual repair. I hung up with a smile on my face.

Today when I got home from work, there was no package waiting for me. Nor was there a slip from DHL telling me they'd been to my house. I decided to give them a few more hours in case they were running behind. They never showed up so I eventually called Sears. The woman I spoke with was, as always, very nice, but ultimately unhelpful. She said she'd have the parts center call me back tomorrow to let me know what's going on with the DHL package.

I pointed out that the repairman is scheduled to come tomorrow between 8-12, and that I would need to take more time off work in order to be here for him, and that it didn't make sense for me to do that if there was no part here for him to fix the freezer with. She agreed and told me I should go to work since the repairman wouldn't come if there was no part here for him.

I asked her if there was a tracking number for the DHL package so that I could check to see where the package was. She gave me a 7-digit number, which is clearly not a tracking number, but I took it anyway before we hung up.

Then I called DHL. The man there was very, very nice. Excellent customer service skills. He's the kind of guy who can make you happy even though you hang up without getting what you want, which is exactly what happened. The 7-digit number was useless, of course. And even though I gave him my name and address, apparently DHL's system works by matching a shippers zip code with a recipient's zip code, and since I didn't know where the part was shipping from, he couldn't locate the package for me. Not his fault, though. So I'll have to wait to see what Sears says tomorrow when they call.

Stay tuned for part 5. I have to admit, this would seem much more tragic if it weren't for the fact that it's giving me so much material to add to my blog! I sure hope someone from Sears reads this.

Fishy Quote #9 - Lying in the Grass

Earlier tonite, Fishy and I were watching an episode from the first season of “Scrubs,” one of the best shows on television.  In this particular episode, they make a big deal about taking some time out for yourself “to lie in the grass and do nothing.”

Fishy said, “Lying in the grass is one of those things that sounds better than it is.  There are ants, and bugs, and mosquito bites, you get mud on the blanket and your clothes get grass stained.  It’s better left as a fantasy.”

Sears Sucks part 3

The fact that there even has to be a "Part 3" of a story like this is disturbing in itself. But as you will find out, there will be at least a part FOUR also, because the problem is STILL unresolved.

Picking up where we left off at the end of part 2, it turns out that the other part (the timer) was shipping separately. So I got a called Sears to reschedule YET AGAIN since I didn't have the necessary parts yet, and they told me that they already knew that and that they had already rescheduled my repair for the following Saturday (which is now today), and they were surprised that nobody had called to tell me that fact.

Ok, fine, whatever. As of today, there was still no part. So i called to tell them that the timer still hadn't arrived and I made my displeasure firmly but politely clear. Norma, who was very nice, checked with the parts department and discovered that the part had been delivered to my house on the 16th (4 days ago). I assured her that no such thing had happened, and i looked through the mail to double-check that there was no package slip that I had overlooked. I also checked with my neighbor to make sure they hadn't accepted the package and forgotten to tell me about it. Nothing. So Norma was about to reschedule again, but I asked her if it were possible that one of the repairmen might already have the necessary part in their truck. She said that yes, they *should* have the part, but that there was no guarantee. So I suggested that we not reschedule and she have the repairman call me if he doesn't have the part. She agreed.

3 hours later at 2:15, Sears called me to let me know that the repairman would not be able to make it today (note that it wasn't a case of the repairman not having the part. he was just too busy again.) and that the next available appointment was on the 29th (NINE DAYS FROM NOW!) So I said, "Sure what the hell." I mean, what else could I do at this point?? I still don't have the part, no matter what they say about it being delivered. The 29th is a Monday--so i will have to take another day off of work: another $100 flushed down the proverbial toilet.

I'm calling them back in a few minutes, I've decided, and I'm going to ask to speak with a supervisor to see if we can move the schedule up a bit since the peons who staff the phone bank lack either the power or the willingness to do anything to help me sooner.

Testing new Cite Bookmarklet...you may safely ignore.

According to the Textpattern website, Textpatern is: 

A free, flexible, elegant, easy-to-use content management system for all kinds of websites, even weblogs.

Textpattern

Just testing

Just testing "Blogger for Word"

"Sears Sucks" installment #2

An update to my ongoing negative experience with Sears.

I had to stay in Philadelphia that weekend instead of going to DC as I’d originally planned so that I didn’t have to take off another day from work.  I got up that at 7:30 that Saturday morning (I didn’t even know there WAS a 7:30 in the morning) so that I could be showered by 8am on the off chance that the repairman showed up on time.  He didn’t, but at least I was clean.  When he did show up, he was a nice man.  He quickly diagnosed the problem: the freezer coils were encased in a block of ice, hidden to the casual viewer by an access panel.  The problem had to be either the thermostat or the timer which periodically turns the heater on to prevent ice from building up.  He discovered that it was definitely the timer, but he recommended replacing both parts just in case.  Fine by me if it means I don’t have to go through this whole thing again in a few months.

But he didn’t fix it that day.  Instead, he suggested that I call customer service and buy a service plan on the freezer, since it would cost the same as fixing it, plus a service plan would continue to cover the freezer for the next year or two.  I immediately questioned whether they would cover a freezer which was already broken.  “Oh yes.  They don’t care about that. They just want to sell you the insurance.”  Ok, fine, if it’ll save me more money down the line when the freezer breaks again.  So I paid him the minimum $60 charge for labor and he left. 

I called customer service and, of course, they told me that they could not sell me a service plan (or insurance, or whatever Sears calls it) for a broken freezer; it would have to be repaired before they could cover it.  So I called a different Sears number.  They told me the same thing and referred me back to the original number.  Those people again told me there was nothing they could do, but that they recommended going back to the store where I bought it because sometimes the store manager can make an exception and pay for the repair.  So I went back out to 69th Street where I bought my freezer.  I had been hoping to be able to deal with Alice, because she’s always been very knowledgeable and helpful to deal with, but she was busy, and she wasn’t the manager anyway.  The department manager I dealt with was extremely nice and extremely sympathetic, which I greatly appreciated, but he was also ultimately unhelpful.  After checking with HIS manager, he told me that after 90 days, the store is out of the equation and so he couldn’t do anything to remedy my situation.

So I went home and called the Sears repair line again to schedule a repairman to come out and fix the freezer, even though I would have to pay all of the costs out-of-pocket.  After all, I need a working freezer.  I had to take yet another day off of work, of course, because I was going to be out of town the next couple weekends and I had already been without my freezer for a month.  The repairman came (the same guy as before) but he didn’t have the part in his truck, so he couldn’t fix my freezer.  So I had to pay for half of the part and he ordered it, telling me it would arrive in a week.  Another day wasted.

Yesterday the part arrived in a tiny little box left on my front step by Airborne Express.  Yay.  Except I opened the box and noticed that it was the *thermostat*, and the repairman had very clearly said that the problem was with the *timer*.  So maybe he just didn’t want to have to install the parts over a period of two separate days?  I don’t know.  I guess I’ll just have to call and schedule an appointment again and see how it goes.

So here’s a recap so far:

1. My $500 Kenmore freezer breaks less than a month after the warantee runs out, only a year plus a few weeks old, and it got only very light use over that time.

2. I call the repairman and schedule an appointment. 

3. I take a day off of work to be home for the repairman.  He does not show up and I have essentially flushed a vacation day down the toilet.

4. I reschedule the appointment for a weekend so I don’t have to miss work again, but it means I have to cancel a trip to DC and I have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 7:30am because the repairman could show up as early as 8am.  (yeah, right.)

5. The repaiman shows up and diagnoses but does not fix the freezer. He tells me to buy a service plan and leaves.  Wasted day and cancelled trip for NOTHING.

6. I call Sears to buy a service plan and I am told they cannot cover a broken freezer (ie. the repairman was wrong).  They refer me to the store where I bought the freezer.

7. I make a trip out to the store where I bought the freezer, but they tell me they cannot help me.  Wasted trip.

8. I schedule yet another repair appointment and take another day off work.  The repairman comes but does not have the part and has to order it.  Wasted vacation day.

9. A week later, the part arrives, but it appears to be the wrong part.

10. I will have to take at LEAST one more day for the repairman to come and finally fix this freezer.

So after a total cost of:

• 2 lost vacation days (= $200)
• 1 cancelled trip to DC and had to get up extra early on a weekend
• $200 in parts and labor
• Two hours of  lost time going to Sears for a problem they couldn’t fix
• Unknown amount of time on the phone with various Sears people and departments
• At least one more vacation day that I will need to take in order for the repairman to come again (minimum of $100)
  
  (In other words, it would have been cheaper to buy a brand new freezer) I STILL HAVE A BROKEN FREEZER THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BROKEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!

A friend of mine has suggested that I go to Sears and walk around and talk people out of buying things.  Or picket the store until they agree to replace my freezer.  I will be writing a letter to Sears when all of this is over and see if they are willing to reimburse me at least for the parts and labor, or at least give me a free 2–year service plan on the freezer that will by then be fixed.  If they aren’t willing to do so, then please look for a man holding a picket sign at a Sears store near you.

The Lobby is My Kitchen

Recent poll by Harris Interactive confirms my own #1 complaint about moviegoing.  Namely the cost.  I’m surprised that people would list ads before the movie previews as a reason they don’t go to the movies.  There aren’t that many, and they don’t really detract from the experience of watching a movie.  More surprising was that nobody listed the buttwads who talk during the movie.  Or maybe it wasn’t one of the reasons they had to choose from. 

"Please Mug Me"

I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks that these lightup earbuds are equivalent to wearing a sign on your back that says, “Hey! Look at me!  I have expensive electronics in my pocket! Mug me! Mug me!”
    

Breakdown

Last night, Fishy’s Amtrak train to DC broke down.  Then on the way from Union Station to home, the metro broke down and sat motionless on the track for 10 minutes.  Then on the way to work this morning, the bus broke down.   To me, there is CLEARLY something freaky going on.  Maybe something cosmic and astrological.  Maybe an omen of some sort.  Maybe the universe is trying to tell him something.  But to my boyfriend, ISTJ to a fault and incapable of seeing such connections between things, the best he can come up with is “it only confirms what I've only been trying to tell you for the LAST 6 YEARS: My life is unfair.”

You know, I sigh a lot these days….  

Whacking Day

The problem with watching the Sopranos, I've discovered, is that you start cursing like a sailor and you start to think putting a bullet in someone's head is an acceptable course of action. That can't be healthy.

Teen Mags

I swear the lady at CVS just looked at me funny when I bought Tiger Beat magazine tonite. Ok, so it's not exactly the Times Literary Supplement, but is there something wrong with liking shirless ectomorphs Ashton, Billie Joe, and Chad Michael Murray?

Hell's Kitchen

My god.  I have just been watching the last 2 episodes of Hell’s Kitchen, the reality show where 12 chefs compete for their own 5 star restaurant, judged by master chef and total bastard Gordon Ramsey.  I can’t remember the last time I got that into a tv show.  The anticipation throughout the show was tremendous.  At the end, when they announced Michael (my favorite) was the winner, I literally screamed, “YES!  YES!”  I was so freaking excited for him!   In part because I was so sure that he was going to lose to smug, over-confident, full-of-himself Ralph.  I would not have been similarly excited had Ralph won instead.

Strange Happenings in Franklin Field

TvDetective and I did something highly unusual yesterday for lunch: we went to the cafeteria at the University Museum.  She wasn’t hungry, actually, so the plan was for me to eat while she watched interestedly.  But our trip to the museum took us by Franklin Field.  “What are all those people doing in the stadium?” we asked as we walked by the seemingly crowded venue.  But TvD noticed that nobody was moving.  In fact, all those fans in the stands turned out to be inflatable dummies (not unlike some of the actual attendees of the university, but that’s a different topic.)  Well, after a very tasty chicken parmesan with linguini, I ran back to my office and grabbed my D70 before heading back to the stadium to take photos.  Here’s some of what I saw:

      

Apparently they’re filming a movie called “Invincible,” a movie about former Philadelphia Eagles wide reciever Vince Papale and starring Mark Wahlberg and Greg Kinnear.  Gotta get me over there and get my photo with Marky Mark.  Maybe he’ll do me while he’s at it.  Hey.  A guy can dream….

To clean the impossible clean

I did it!  I wasn’t even sure it could be done, but I did it—possibly because Fishy is out of town  (Kidding, Fishy! Kidding!)  After discovering ants in the house, I made a vow to clean the house totally, utterly, and completely.  Fishy didn’t believe me, I don’t think, but I was—and am—dead serious.  As proof of concept, I proudly present my living room, before and after:

  

  

You may now congratulate me.  Next stop: the bedroom.

Weakness

In another moment of bubble tea weakness, I bought another bubble tea.  Jasmine Green, non-latte.  Mmmmmm.  Non-latte…  Actually, it wasn’t so much a moment of weakness, because i’d been planning it for two hours ahead of time, but if I call it a moment, I feel so much less guilty.

Hmmm.  I was just going to say that I deserve a bubble tea as a reward for biting my nails less lately (I’ve been biting my nails less lately.  In fact, I’ve been barely biting my nails at all.)  I started wearing a rubber band (just a plain brown one from the mail room—not a WWJD or Lance Armstrong one) on my wrist so I could snap it every time I caught myself biting my nails, and that really seems to have done the trick.  But not long after I started wearing it, I also stopped drinking caffeine and sugar drinks.  So it just struck me that possibly the lack of sugar and caffeine is related to my decreased nail-biting! 

Either way, with actual fingernails at my disposal again, Fishy will have almost no reason to bruise me anymore.  Not that he really needs an excuse…

Caf-fiend

I am trying SO FREAKING HARD to give up caffeine and sugar drinks completely, but it is so much more difficult than I’d imagined.  I’ve successfully gone a week without coffee, but I had a Jasmine Green bubble tea today (thanks to Melba Lee for introducing me to those bad boys) and MAN did it hit the spot. I wish I’d gotten a jumbo instead of a regular. The sugar is almost harder to give up than the caffeine.   But I’m pretty much off soda entirely (although there are those times when you just need a Coke, like at a picnic or something like that), and I haven’t had a snapple or similar beverage in months.  When does it get easier??

Buzz...Buzz...BITE!

I got bitten by a mosquito inside my own home last nite.  I completely blame Fishy for this outrage.  If he’d been home, the mosquito would’ve gone after him instead.   I never get bitten when Fishy is around.  Um…except by Fishy, of course.

 

No offense to Catholics but...

You may remember that Pope Benedict XVI—formerly a member of the Hitler youth, and a man whose anti-contraceptive policies have directly caused the infection and death of thousands and thousands of Africans from HIV ( In South Africa alone, 600-1,000 people are thought to die every day because of Aids. )—referred to gay unions as “anarchic.”  Now the Catholic Church—known for its criminal conspiracy to cover up the ongoing rape of small children for several decades in order to protect its own reputation and bank account— has “attacked Canada's legalization of gay marriage, calling it a distortion of God's plan for the family.”  Just thought you should know God’s representative on Earth is upto these days.

 

 

TvDetective Quote #6

“I wish I could show you my inner thigh—I have bug bites in the shape of the big dipper.”

Ann Coulter, Plagiarist

It’s always good to see Ann Coulter getting recognized for the lowlife she really is.

New Nominee pt 2.

Ok, I’d like to amend my earlier prediction.   I’ve decided that Roberts will get confirmed.  Despite his almost non-existent record to judge him by (which should be a reason to keep him off the court on its own, IMHO), there’s not much in the way of good reasons to vote him down or filibuster him.  So now i think Roberts will be confirmed, and that Gonzalez or someone similarly moderate (on the subject of abortion, anyway) will be nominated when Renquist steps down or dies.

Consultation

Bush was just saying that he consulted with over 70 members of the Senate, both Democrats and Republicans.  Now, what the heck was the point of that?  He picked someone that any liberal in their right mind would despise (from a political standpoint, anyway).  So what was all that consulting b.s. about?

New Nominee

As we all know by now, our President has nominated John G. Roberts as his nominee to the United States Supreme Court to fill the slot recently vacated by Sandra Day O’Connor.  Not surprisingly, he has chosen a devisive nominee rather than a consensus candidate.  Since the Presidnet hasn’t even given his speech yet, we don’t know a lot about this man other than the fact that he wants to overturn Roe v. Wade. and is pro-corporate and anti-environment.

Given that such a justice would tip the balance of the court in the other direction.  This serves two purposes in my mind: First, it will overjoy the religious right who form the core voters that got Bush and his cronies (or is that the other way around?) into office.  Second, it will all but ensure a filibuster in the Senate, and Bush will ultimately have to nominate a more moderate candidate.

Bush knows this.  In fact, he’s depending on it.  The last thing that the GOP wants is to do is overturn Roe v. Wade.  They need it as a rallying issue.  Without abortion, the religious right won’t vote in the same numbers.

I could be wrong.  In fact, I hope I’m wrong—more on that later—but that’s my prediction: Roberts won’t get confirmed, and a more moderate candidate will be nominated.

Sunset

I acknowledge that we are living in exceptional times, and that given the nature of crimes of terrorism, exceptional measures need to be taken.  That is, more-or-less, the rationale under which the so-called Patriot Act was passed.  But let us not forget: these are exceptional measures.  These are *clear* violations of our civil rights—violations which Americans have agreed to because they are willing to make a temporary sacrifice in order to insure domestic tranquility and provide for the common defense.

But since they’re exceptions, since they are blatant violations of the principles we hold dear, why not have sunset provisions for them?  Why would you want to make such morally offensive laws permanent? If the Patriot Act remains both effective and necessary, then Congress should gladly extend the expiration date a few more years at which time we can reconsider it. If not, then they will gracefully expire.

As for the argument that these provisions don’t NEED an expiration date, that Congress can repeal them any time it wants, I don’t buy it.  The sunset provisions force the Patriot Act back onto the agenda, force the American people to discuss it and to reevaluate whether it’s still necessary.

Republicans of all people should be more than glad to put an expiration date on laws that extend government’s power to such a ridiculous degree.  But instead—either out of blind loyality to their party leadership, fear of their party leadership, or out of sheer ignorance—they’re pushing the Patriot Act harder than ever.

 

 

Holy mother of crap it's hot!

You’re probably wondering what all of us here at the Itchy Lot are doing to beat this swampy, oppressive heat storm we’re all suffering through here in the city of Philadelphia.  Well, not having been brought up by our mommas to be fools, we’ve taken a multi-pronged approach:

1. Air Conditioner.  We have window units (although I’ll be glad to accept any donations toward a central-air installation) in 3 rooms.  In the interest of saving money, however, it’s also advisable to spend as much time as possible at Borders or Barnes & Noble, where you can spend hours reading books and enjoying a far more enjoyable climate, all for the cost of a bus token.

2. Ceiling and window Fans.  Where A/C is not possible we use the ceiling fans installed by previous residents. Window fans can also be highly effective if you open windows (yes, Fishy, I know: open more than one window on each floor.) and the air outside is cooler than the inside.

3. Eat cold food.  My favorite way to stay cool is to eat a dish of frozen grapes when I come in from the heat.  You don’t want to let these suckers thaw too much because they get mushy.  But a good, sweet, frozen green seedless grape is a thing of wonder.  You can bet the early American settlers heading west in the summertime would’ve killed for a treat like this.  Even Fishy, who once dismissed frozen grapes as “just wrong,” now enjoys them along with me, meaning I have to keep more on stock since they disappear that much faster. 

The other great cold food I like to eat is frozen watermelon.  You get a nice ripe sweet watermelon, cut it into cubes, and freeze it.  Then, when the heatwave strikes, you dump the cubes into a food processor and grind it into watermelon waterice.  Of course, this requires a bit more work than just rinsing some grapes and sticking them in the freezer for later enjoyment, but it’s worth it.  Also, because of the extra work involved, I don’t have to worry about Fishy eating it all on his own.

Biden for Prez! (Not!)

From “Seeing the Forest”:

“I have three sound reasons for despising Senator Biden. The first is his singular role in passing the legislative abomination that was called bankruptcy reform. The second reason is that he is a warmonger lite Democrat who has been spinelessly supportive of Bush's Iraq war. The third reason I despise Senator Biden is that he continually refers to George Bush as a "good man." George Bush is not a good man and Senator Biden is contemptible for saying he is.”

I’ll agree with that, but I’ll throw in one more reason (there are more, but I have to stop somewhere):  When Howard Dean came out and started criticizing the Republicans (FINALLY!!), Biden was one of the Democrats who criticized DEAN instead of standing behind him. For Pete’s sake! The GOP is running our country into the ground and Biden decides to criticize other Democrats instead!

Biden is no friend to the American people.  If he’s going to cozy up to the administration the way he’s been doing, he may as well just switch parties while he’s at it.

 

My Mean Boy

The similarities of Fishy with this Mean Girl, Annie, are almost disturbing.  Two quick examples:

1.  Annie: I wish I was strong enough to break your arm in half!

2.  Chris: Ow!
     Annie: Haha—whatever you did!

Those of you know Fishy understand.

Cingular Signal Sucks in City of DC

Sorry, couldn’t figure out a way to alliterate that last word.  We’ve been having a lot of problems (read: every single phone call) with Fishy’s phone in Washington, DC.  We’re both former ATT customers, and therefore now we’re Cingular customers. And every time we’re on the phone together, the call gets dropped. Doesn’t matter if he has 1 bar or 5 bars.  We know it’s his phone and not mine because it even happens when I’m on the land line.  My phone is an older, TDMA Nokia, and I love it.  It has no color. It has no camera.  It has no mp3 ringtones.  But it makes phonecalls, and what the hell else do you really need a phone to do?  Fishy’s GSM Motorola V60 (which neither of us have been happy with, even though we were looking forward to it for months before it’s release) does all sorts of crazy stuff, but drops calls left and right, at least in DC on the Cingular network.  We’re talking about switching to Verizon as soon as we can.

I was going to ask if anyone out there was having the same issue (not that anyone EVER leaves comments) but apparently we’re not alone in this problem.  A quick google search brings back plenty of recent problems with Cingular dropping calls or kicking you straight into voicemail all over the country.  Here’s a recent post on Engadget.  One person even thinks it’s a scam to get customers to use more minutes, constantly calling each other back plus checking their voicemail for the missed calls.  Seems highly doubtful to me.  Providing shitty service (as Cingular is currently doing) is no way to endear yourself to customers who have proven themselves (as a group) more than willing to switch to a different Network if it suits their needs at the moment.  Especially now that we can take our numbers with us.

Anyway, I told Fishy to call Cingular and find out what’s up.  If customers don’t complain and start switching networks, then they really don’t have much motivation to fix the problem.  So if you’re having dropped calls with Cingular, call them and complain.

Paper Mario, Finished at Last!

  It has been a day of finishings.  First, I finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince—an accomplishment of 650 pages in 36 hours (less, actually, because I was at a family event for a lot of that time).  Then, tonite I finally finished Paper Mario: the 1000 Year Door.  Joe lent it to me and I’m proud to say I finally conquered is after 85 hours of game playing.  Don’t let that discourage you from playing it yourself.  It would be easily doable in more like 60 hours but i spent a lot of time exploring.  Anyway, it’s good to have it done.  That leaves just two more games in my queue: Metroid Prime 2 and the new Zelda game, the latter of which isn’t out yet and the former of which Joe isn’t done with yet.  This makes me happy because i have a wonderful sense of accomplishment for having finished a fun game, and it will make Fishy happy because i’m out of games to play and no longer have any excuse not to clean the house.  Hmmm… ok, so maybe I don’t have as much reason to be happy as Fishy does about this, but at least for tonite i’m in a good mood about it.  Tomorrow, I’ll clean.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Noddy and I reserved our copies of the new Harry Potter ahead of time so we didn't have to wait in line as long as the people who didn't reserve theirs. (We were #164 and #165 in a line of at least 400-500 people at the Barnes & Noble — or “Barnes and Nobles,” as Fishy would say.). They started selling the books right at midnight (the whole store counted down the last 20 seconds together). There were reporters both from newspapers and at least 2 tv networks interviewing enthusiastic customers:

        

I had finished the 650–page book about 36 hours later, spending every free moment with my face buried in the pages.  At one point, as my family drove back from Slower Delaware in the dark, I had to resort to reading in the back seat by the light of my iPod.)  As you have probably heard, another character dies in the book, so, as with #5 (Order of the Phoenix), I wanted to read it before I heard about it from someone else, or accidentally read one of the many spoilers already out there on the web.   (The Wikipedia already has a full chapter-by-chapter plot summary of the entire book, along with cross references, and the book hasn’t even been out for 2 days yet!)

The homeless in Canada are so much more creative

We saw this guy on Yonge Street in Toronto. I don’t know if it’s something in the water or air or the culture, but when’s the last time you saw someone in THIS country holding a sign like this:

He was actually in the background of a photo I took of Fishy, but I cut Fishy out of the photo so he wouldn’t get mad at me.  (Are you happy?? Huh?? Are you??)

TvDetective Quote #5

Here’s the second one:

“If I were a guy, I would totally want to date a slut like me.”

TvDetective Quote #4

You know, she is just FULL of the most amazing things.  We just went out for a Friday afternoon Frappuccino and she came up with two doozies.  Here’s the first:

“I’m getting horny; I feel like I have a penis.”

Sears Sucks

I am not happy with Sears right now.  I bought a freezer from them last year—a freezer that I have loved in every way but carnally. A freezer that has changed my life for the better.   A freezer that BROKE almost EXACTLY when the warrantee expired.  I salvaged what I could and crammed it into the tiny freezer upstairs that sits in the top part of the refrigerator, but still lost quite a bit of meat and some frozen fruit.  So that was bad enough.

But then I called their repair line and set up an appointment for today between 1pm and 5pm (which sucks, but it’s better than “between 9am and 5pm,” right?).  I was even impressed with how easy it was to use their automated system, and I DESPISE automated systems.  So I went home early from work today, using vacation time so I could be there for the repairman. At 3:00 I get a call from Sears.  I assumed it was the repairman telling me he was on his way.  But NO!  It’s someone in some office calling to tell me that the repairman couldn’t make it and they’d need to reschedule. (I commented to Fishy that at least it was 3pm and not 5pm.  And he rightly responded, “At least they bothered calling at all!”)

I believe my exact words in response were, “ARRRGGGHHHHHH!”  The lady wasn’t rude, but she wasn’t overly friendly, either.  She said her next appointment was next thursday between 1 and 5.  But I’d already fallen for that one before, so I (somewhat rudely) cut her off and said, “Do you have anything AFTER 5?  Or on a weekend?  I lost a lot of money so I could be home for the repairman today.”  She said the repairmen are in a union and don’t work in the evenings, but she has an opening in a week (A WEEK!) on Saturday morning between 8 and 12.  I asked her if I could please be FIRST, and she said that a computer made up the repairmen’s schedules and she didn’t have any control, but that I should be a higher priority since I was rescheduled.

So to sum up: 

• My freezer breaks like clockwork as soon as the warrantee is over, meaning I will have to pay for a repair that is clearly Sears’s fault to begin with.
  
• I have to miss several hours of work (and therefore the money I get paid for those hours) so that I can be there to meet a technician.
  
• That technician does not show up when promised, meaning I wasted those hours of work and lost that money for NOTHING.
  
• I now have to get up at 8–freaking-am on a Saturday morning so that I can go through this whole thing all over again.

How could this problem have been averted, you’re probably wondering.  Well, I’m glad you asked.

1. Build freezers that don’t break after only a year of use.  The refridgerator in my kitchen is probably 15 years old at least and still running strong, and I’m in and out of that thing all the time, yanking on the doors, dragging it across the floor so I can clean under it, leaving the doors open while I clean the inside of the fridge, etc. and I haven’t had a problem with that thing once.  But a freezer that just sits in the basement, running quietly, getting its doors open maybe 3–4 times a week if that?  It falls apart if you so much as look at it funny.  If my freezer is a strange fluke, then don’t charge me for the repair—who knows? Maybe they won’t?

2. Make your repairmen work in the evenings. You know, when people are actually home and don’t have to lose a bunch of cash out of their paychecks because YOUR product broke in the first place?  Hire non-union repairmen for the evenings if you have to.

3.  If you say you’re going to show up between 1–5pm then show up between 1–5pm.  Don’t schedule so many appointments, or else hire more repairmen.  If that repairman had just shown up on time, I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this now.  But since they can’t keep their word, I’m blogging the hell out of how pissed I am at Sears, hoping that other people read this post and decide to shop somewhere else instead.

Photoshop Blog

Am I the only one who thinks that the Photoshop Blog sucks?  It’s not the content that bothers me, but the design.  It is one of the most cluttered, hard-to-read pages I’ve ever come across.  And I’ve seen some real crap.  I don’t know what it is exactly, but every time I go to the page (which is every day or two—gotta keep current, after all!), I just see this big blur of words that makes me sigh in the way that you sigh when your boss hands you a huge file of papers to work on says, “I want this done by the end of the day.”  It’s like wading waist-deep through a swamp.  The Unofficial Photoshop Blog, although not wonderful, is much more pleasant to deal with.  Bright high(er)-contrast colors that don’t make me want to fall asleep, bigger font size, etc.   I’m just disappointed with the Photoshop Blog.  You kind of expect more from a blog about a product that is all about graphic design.

Radical Right Kills a 3-year old Faggot

At Equality Forum this year, the regular bigot protesters showed up, spewing their usual batch of hatred under the guise of Christianity. I was taking their photograph as the main preacher went on about what abominations and perverts gays and lesbians were. “Why else do you think the suicide rate is so high among homosexual teens?” he asked. Well, next thing you know I hear this voice coming out of my mouth. “BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU!” It was actually pretty amazing; I never lose my temper. I get angry, but I don’t lose control like that. It was literally like I was watching myself yell back but without any control over my own words. He really hit a nerve with the suicide comment. “No, it’s not because of people like us,” he said, much more calmly than I had spoken to him. “OF COURSE IT’S BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU! You stand here and call us perverts and abominations! What the fuck do you think is going to happen to impressionable young people who hear that sort of crap from their parents and friends and ministers?!” Ok, I said “fuck,” and I do regret it. Not a good idea when you’re trying to make a point, but I was completely out of control. “No, it’s not because of people like us…” he went on to tell me not to swear, insult my masculinity, and then went on with some other stuff that i stopped paying attention to.

“Not because of people like us.” Uh huh… A man was recently arrested for murdering his three year old son. Apparently he thought the boy might be gay and started beating the crap ouf of him in order to teach him to box. The boy’s mother said that the father “would make the boy fight with him, slapping the child in the head until he cried or wet himself. She said that on one occasion Paris slammed the child against a wall because he was vomiting.” THREE YEARS OLD!

The fact that this happened in the state of Florida should surprise no one.

Where do you think this man learned the values that told him he should beat the crap out of his 3-year old son because he thought he was gay? That gay people are so worthless and such abominations that slamming a tiny boy against a wall and sending him to the hospital is preferable to letting him grow up to be gay, even if you COULD tell he was gay at the age of THREE? He learned it from listening to his parents, his neighbors, the minister in his church.

So, to the so-called “Christians” who protested at Equality Forum this year, and especially to the preacher I yelled at, I just wanted to say again, in print and on the record: THIS IS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

Ironically, I was just laughing two weeks ago at this story in the Onion, “New Dad Thinks Baby Might Be Gay” It’s not so funny anymore.

I have long been a person who thought that the best way dealing with the wingnut wacko protesters at gay pride events is to ignore them. That if you pretend they aren't there, then they'll just go away. But it's not true. They don't go away. They breed and multiply and grow like a virus or a malignant tumor, slowly taking over more and more of society until finally a man kills his three year old son out of pure homo-hatred. We cannot ignore these people. We must take them on. I am not suggesting violence, no matter how much violence they commit against us. But we must engage them. We need to bar them from our events (physically if necessary) when we can, we need to engage them in conversation and make them see the error of their ways if possible, and we need to out-shout them and shield them from public view if they won't engage us back. We need to fight them in the courts. We need to fight them in PTA meetings and in college classrooms. We need to stand up in the middle of a hate-filled sermon at church and tell the minister and congregation that sort of thing is WRONG. We need to fight the GOP's anti-gay platform both from without and from the inside. We need to hold Democrats to the standards and values that, as liberals, they claim to have. We need to draw attention to tragedies like the 3 year-old in Florida.

If you are doing these things, great. If you're not doing them, start. The best, most powerful thing you can do is to come out of the closet if you're in it. I think I've changed more minds simply by being an out, visible gay person than anything else I've done. I changed the way my parents vote by telling them I'm gay. I remember my mother saying to my father after Pat Buchanan's infamous speech of vitriol at the 1992 Republican National Convention, "I don't see how we can possibly vote Republican. I just don't think it's an option." Is it easy? No. And it requires some sacrifice, but anything that's worth doing, does.

Overpaid Spokesperson

I'm thinking Scott McClellan is overpaid. Instead of spending tax dollars on his salary, couldn't we just have an intern go out and put a big sign on the podium that says, "No Comment," thank everyone for coming to the daily briefing, and then leave?

Toronto: Thursday

After we checked into Le Meridien, I washed my shorts in the sink to get the coffee stain out and then ironed them to get them as dry as I could. Then we headed out and walked up Yonge St. looking for the gay neighborhood. We didn't find it, but we did find plenty of cool stuff. Fishy was nearing that stage of hunger where he gets dangerously close to hurting other people, so we ate at an Indian buffet, which was quite tasty and relatively reasonably priced ($8.99/each). I ended lunch with a small bowl of vanilla ice cream. Then we walked back down Yonge and stopped at a lot of the cool stores we'd seen on our way up, mostly comicbook stores. Apparently we were in the comic district or something. My favorite was actually the smallest one, the Hairy Tarantula. I liked it because of this guy working there. I'm too tired now to remember half of what he said, but he's originally from Detroit, and he got to talking about the bombing in London today, and then he started talking about 9/11, and how America has changed and what people from the Midwest ("my people") are like now compared to how they used to be. Apparently they're just dead inside now, they've given up. Then he started talking about that zombie dog story that's been going around. I don't really know how to describe this guy, but he was awesome. Well, in small doses, anyway. I can imagine he might wear on you after awhile, but he certainly had a lot of personality. The other comic book stores were just businesses whereas this one had personality. Like I said, I'm tired and I can't really explain what I'm talking about now. More late, hopefully.

Fishy Quote #8

On the issue of entering his name under mine on my customs form as we entered Canada:

"I don't want to be in a big gay database!"

Leg Two: Detroit to Toronto

The flight to Toronto was very fast, only an hour total in the air. It was very uneventful with no more hot fluids poured onto my body. We filled out the customs form. Fishy's laziness won out over his paranoia (see next entry for his quote of concern about both of us appearing on the same customs form) and he just added his name onto my form instead of filling out all of the info on his own separate form.

We went through customs when we arrived at Toronto. Fishy tried to get in to the line operated by the cute customs official, but another guy called us over to his line instead. He was businesslike but friendly, and we pretty much zipped through.

Almost right away once we got near the exit, this guy comes out of nowhere and tries to get us to ride on his shuttle bus. We was a little too Used-Car-Salesman-like, so i did my best (ultimately successful) to get rid of him. We ended up taking a taxi to the hotel instead for a few dollar more, but it saved over an hour in time, so it was worth it. The taxi was so nice! Clean, and it didn't have one of those awful walls that separate the passengers in the back seat from the driver. It was a very pleasant experience.

Oh, one more thing. While we were still in the airport, this woman's voice comes over the PA system and announces that a Catholic Mass will be held in a few minutes in Terminal 3. We were both like WTF?! In retrospect, it was probably being held because of the bombing in London today, but even so, that is just bizarre to 1) have a mass in the airport terminal, and 2) to announce it publically over the airport's PA system. I think people would probably picket the airport if that happened in America.

The hotel (Le Meridien, King Edward VII) is apparently a 4-star hotel. It's very attractive, but neither one of us is sure what exactly constitutes a 4-star hotel, other than perhaps the price. I mean, it's just a place you sleep and keep your crap while you're running around town. What special amenities would you expect a 4-star hotel to provide that a 3-star hotel or 2-star hotel wouldn't have? As long as I have a clean bed and my own bathroom, what more would I want?

First Leg: Philly to Detroit

We made it to the airport on time. I was going to get coffee before we got on the plane, but the only place that had any post-security check was Burger King, and there was a huge line there, probably for that very reason. While we were waiting for the boarding announcement, there was this incredibly cute boy waiting for the same plane. We later learned his name was Grant. He was ridiculously good looking. Preppy, nice hair. He looks like he could be Jeremy Lory's long lost brother. I actually looked at him several times wondering if it were in fact Jeremy, in which case I would have asked him if I could get my picture taken with him. When we got on the plane, he sat right across the aisle from him, and neither one of us could keep our eyes off of him. He kept looking at us, too, but of course you never know if somoene like that is looking at you, or just wondering why the hell you're staring at him in the first place.

The plane to Detroit was fine. Although the flight attendant spilled very hot coffee in my lap (apparently I should have just gotten it at Burger King after all), but he was very very nice about it, and I just decided to live with a coffee stain for the rest of the day. And portion of the coffee that stayed in the cup was actually quite tasty. They didn't give me much sugar, but I always have a packet of Splenda or two in my wallet or bookbag for emergencies. I find all-Splenda doesn't taste very good, but Spenda as a supplement to white sugar works very nicely and I usually can't taste anything artificial.

I otherwise occupied myself with my iPod, listening to the Shins' "Chutes Too Narrow" and a great binaural album I have called "Sounds of Old New Orleans," both of which I highly recommend.

Wild Blue Yonder

Who knew that there was a 5:00 in the MORNING too? Well, I gues I'd heard rumors, but now I know for sure. We went to bed at 1am and we're catching a plane at 7:30 to Toronto, so we got up at five. FIVE!

We're going to a wedding, and then staying a few more days after that. I'm too tired to type more, and we have to leave for the airport in 17 minutes.

I had a bowl of All Bran and now I have to finish packing. Talk to you all soon.

--------------------------

Holy crap. It's 5:43am and the skateboarders are going by outside my house. What's up with that? I can hear them roll by as I type. They're usually out there rolling around pretty late, too.

Let's get ready to rumble!

Patrick Leahy just made an extraordinary comment on the Jim Lehrer News Hour (or whatever it’s called now).  He said he hoped that the President’s nominee for Sandra Day O’Connor’s seat on the Supreme Court was someone who would unite and not divide the country, so that the issue of a filibuster wouldn’t even arise.  I say it’s extraordinary because the thought of such a nominee hadn’t even crossed my mind.  I can’t even imagine the President nominating someone who won’t draw a party-line or close-to-party-line (there are always a few senators who think the Senate’s job is to rubber stamp the Presdient’s nominees.  I don’t vote for those Senators.) vote.  But wow, wouldn’t it be wonderful?  Imagine a nominee that would get 75%+ of the vote in the Senate!!

Patchouli Farts

Were u ever on an elevator and someone farted, and then they got off, and then a floor or two later someone else got on and you KNOW they blamed you for the smell?  That happened to me today, I think. Well, kind of. This semi goth/punk guy wearing dark rayban-esque sunglasses and spiked leather wrist bands, some incredible tattoos, and an ugly little goatee that any sane person would hold him down and shave off,  was wearing patchouli oil.  Lots of patchouli oil.  Ugh.  I’ve never been a fan of the stuff in general, but in high doses it’s almost lethal.  Anyway, he got off on the first floor, and some other people got on, and of course the odor lingered long after goth boy was gone.  And the other two people kept eyeing me for the rest of the (thankfully short) elevator ride.  And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just because i look so damned good today.

Someone should put a warning label on Jennifer Garner

Hasn’t anyone figured out yet that Jennifer Garner is nothing but trouble?  She left her husband Scott Foley for Alias co-star Michael Vartan.  Then she dumped Michael’s heart-broken ass for Elektra co-star Ben Affleck.  How many lives must this woman destroy before someone stops her?   Don’t get me wrong:  I love her to tears.  I practically wet myself every time she puts on a new disguise in Alias (btw, my favorite was DEFINITELY when she played the computer geek, an homage to co-worker Marshall), but i thank my lucky stars I’m just some gay gay from Philly and not a youngish, ruggedly-handsome heterosexual tv/movie star she can chew up and spit out like a piece of gum that’s lost it’s flavor.

Here’s my advice to Ben:  keep her on a short leash.  Tell her her acting career is over—no more tv shows or movies with studly co-stars.  I give their marriage 2 years at the VERY most.  Maybe more if he can keep her barefoot and pregnant, but the woman doesn’t exactly have birthing hips. 

Test Entry

Just testing blogjet.  here goes…

 

 

Coffee Buzz

I love coffee. I hate being addicted to it, it's true, and I ween myself off it at the end of every winter. But I love the way I feel about 10 minutes after I finish a cup. I feel artistic and powerful and creative. I have a zillion ideas and the feeling that I can accomplish them all. Why can't I keep that feeling all the time, and why can't i achieve it without a cup of coffee?

No More Movies

The Taipei Times asks "Are movies dying?" because people aren't going to Movie Theaters anymore. Hmmm. Why could that be? Well, let me tell you why *I* don't go as often as I used to. And I'll say from the get go, I *love* seeing movies on the big screen. There are many movies that just aren't worth watching on DVD.

1. Movies cost $10+ anymore. I don't know who these people are who can afford $10 a pop for a movie (imagine taking a family of 5!), but I sure as heck ain't one of them. Where are the 2nd run theaters in Philly, anyway? I'd be glad to see 4 or 5 movies a month at $5 each, the way I used to. In order to justify the expense of seeing a movie (not to mention refreshments), a movie has to be basically *critical* to my life in order for me to justify seeing it. LOTR, Star Wars, etc. There were a bunch of movies I gladly would have seen on the big screen, but not for the kind of dough it would cost.

2. So many movies released today are crap. This alone isn't TOO much of a reason not to see movies, but in conjunction with price it's a total deal breaker. Hollywood pretty much just pumps out remakes of old classics (I'd much rather just see the old classic. If it was good enough to spend millions remaking it, then it's probably not going to be easy to improve on.) and whatever crappy little stories it can make a bunch of money on in merchandising and product placement even if the movie bombs in the theaters. Occasionally I see an ad for one and think, "that sounds OK, I guess. I'd watch it if someone else paid for it." but it's not good enough to justify spending $10 on.

3. People talk during movies. I don't know when this started happening, but people are incredibly rude. A quick whisper here or there to a friend is one thing, but for Pete's sake people actually have conversations! They answer their freaking phones (which should have been turned off in the first place)! We pretty much only see movies in the suburbs now, because everything in Philly is filled with people who talk, and (again with the money, I know) I'm not paying $10 to hear someone talk to their friend during the whole movie.

4. DVD and Netflix. I'll admit it, there are often films out where we say, "Eh. We'll get it on video." There are movies that, if they weren't available later on DVD, we would probably go see in the theater instead.

Ask not for whom the DNC Calls. The DNC calls for you (and your money)

I just got off the phone. The Democratic National Committee just called to ask for my financial support (I gave money before the last presidential election, which went horribly awry, as you may recall). First the guy goes on and on and on (clearly trying to prevent being cut off) giving me reasons I should give money. Reasons I already know, of course. I told him I couldn't do it and I gave my money to HRC this year. He launched into another spiel for what seemed like several minutes before I could finally get a word in edgewise. I told him I don't really have confidence any more in the Democratic Party. They don't stand up to the President or the GOP. They criticized Dean for speaking the truth and for criticizing the GOP.

The neocons are ruining our country, undoing decades of progress, and all the Democrats can do is criticize each other, already posturing for the next Presidential Election (Biden, Edwards). Until they actually start banding together, fighting back, and standing up for all the things a progressive party should stand up for, damned if they're going to get any of MY money.

I essentially told this to the guy from the DNC, who continued talking non-stop, speaking right over what I was saying. I finally gave up and just hung up on the guy. Not letting me respond to what he's saying is not the way to get me to give him money.

Attention Span

On the way home from work today I passed a little girl sitting outside her mother's store, watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air while simultaneously playing her GameBoy Advanced. Her eyes were darting wildly back and forth between the two. I was slightly horrified. No, wait. I was completely horrified. (Ok, I *WAS* completely horrified before I realized that I'm typing this as I watch the Simpsons. But at least I'm doing it during the commercials.) What kind of brains are our children going to have if they fire a laser at a space alien, and get so bored during the next three tenths of a second before the next space alien appears that they need to watch TV while they wait? Multitasking is a necessary evil at times in todays world, but not a skill to be cultivated. Learn patience, do one thing at a time.

DashBlog Test

Hi All. Just testing the DashBlog widget for OSX to see how well it works!

Memorial Day Speech

From an AP news story today:

Before his Memorial Day remarks in 2003, Bush had declared major combat operations at an end, the U.S. government confidently predicted that weapons of mass destruction would be found and American generals said troops were in the process of stabilizing Iraq.

At that time, some 160 American soldiers had been killed in Iraq. Today, the total is over 1,650.

7th Heaven Suggestion

Am I the only one who hates Lucy Camden?? I was expecting there to be a "I Hate Lucy Camden" club out there somewhere, but I haven't been able to locate one so far. I just want to slap the living s**t out of her sometimes! I have NEVER understood what the hell Kevin sees in her. As far as I can tell, she has no positive qualities whatsoever unless she's constantly getting everything she wants.

I would like to suggest an episode of 7th Heaven where Kevin finally gets fed up and leaves Lucy, who spends the next week sitting alone on her bed, sobbing, yelling over and over, "Why was I such a whiny, petty, posessive, snobby, jealous, hyper-emotional immature ungrateful BITCH! If only I'd acted like a reasonable human being my husband, who worshipped the ground I walk on and did everything I ever asked him too until I finally pushed him too far, never would have left me! I can't believe anyone as wonderful as Kevin ever wanted a piece of crap like me in the first place!"

Later in the episode, we see Simon and Martin wrestling shirtless and pantless, until finally one of them slips and they end up making out for the rest of the show. (They'll leave their boxers on, of course, because this is a family show.) But that Lucy Camden bit is the important thing. In fact, the Simon/Martin wrestling match probably deserves an episode of its own anyway.

If the producers of 7th Heaven read this post and are interested, i'll be glad to help write either or both episodes. And I'll be glad to work the close-up camera on the Simon/Martin wrestle-and-kiss episode.

TvDetective Quote #3

Wow. She's really full of good ones these days. Drum roll please...

"I hope that's food and not poop."

TvDetective Quote #2

"Ew! No! That would be like having your brother do you. And not a sexy brother, either."

TvDetective Quote #1

"This happens at restaurants sometimes. All the cute people leave and get replaced by stank people."

Fishy quote #7

"I dreamt my life was more exciting than it is"

Fishy Quote #6

On seeing a full-sized photo of a guy who looked cute in a thumbnail:

"You know, he looks better as a small person."

Fishy quote #5

"Hurry up and get dressed while I call 911 so I don't have to explain anything."

The Big Three Three

Happy Birthday to me! I'm 33 but I don't feel a day over 32. It's been a really nice day--everyone has wished me happy birthday--even the vice-provost! And friends I haven't seen in years have emailed me happy birthday. Hopefully they'll be forgiving when they found out that I don't remember theirs. :)

Gay Podcasting

I've been looking everywhere tonite for gay-related podcasts. Anyone know of any? Or did you find this blog entry because you were searching for the same thing?

Sounds like a fair trade to me.

Alas, the post has been removed by craigslist, and google doesn't have a cached copy, but you've got to admit, the title is a total winner:

Needs a web master to Build Male Gay sexsite 4 Free* - Will cook 4 U

Devastating

I just wanted to share:

Sen. Bill Frist, R-Tenn., a medical doctor and Sen. Mary Landrieu, D-Louisiana, visited tsunami-stricken southern Sri Lanka on Thursday, tying up two of the five U.S. Military helicopters presently available, reports CBS News Correspondent Allen Pizzey[...]

Just before his helicopter lifted off, Frist and aides took snapshots of each other near a pile of tsunami debris.

"Get some devastation in the back," Frist told a photographer.


There? was that so hard? See, I didn't even make a nasty comment; sometimes people do my job for me.

Stick a yellow ribbon...

Is it me? Or is there more than a little bit of irony slapping a yellow "Support Our Troups" ribbon on the back of a vehicle which runs on the substance that finances most of the terrorism our troops are fighting this war over in the first place? This is especially offensive on the back of a Hummer or SUV.

Also, in what way does spending $1.95 at Walmart (which is a questionably unpatriotic act in and of itself, given the thousands and thousands of jobs that have been exported thanks to Walmart) support the troops? In fact, many of the ribbons themselves are made in China. No joke.

What does it even mean to support our troops? Should we send them care packages? Should we send them the armor the government hasn't seen fit to equip them with? Should we help them with legal expenses when they fight the army's back-door draft policy? Should we say a prayer (or light a candle if you're Catholic) for them each night before we go to sleep? Should we volunteer for the Army and encourage our sons and daughters to do the same so that we can provide military support? Should we write to the President and ask him to take some of the $50 million he plans on raising for his inaugural parties and spend it on improving life for the troops he has put in harm's way? Should we write them letters letting them know we're thinking of them? Should we return our tax refund to the government to help finance equipment for the troops? Should we write to the President and to our Congressmen and Senators and tell them to end the war that's killing our troops?

Which things on this list do you suppose the people with the yellow ribbons did?

The 4 Types of Republicans

The way I figure it, there are four types of republicans.

1. Greedy rich people. These are people who already have lots of money and want the government to leave them and their money alone so they can make more money, even if it's at the expense of other people. They have deluded themselves into thinking that the richer they get, the better off America is. "Yes! I just made my second billion! Now all those poor black people I have no connection to will have a better education, medical insurance, and a chance to become President one day!" Note that these people must be rich. If they vote Republican and they're greedy but poor, then they fall into group 3, "Unintelligent or extremely naive people."

2. Christians. These are people who think America is a Christian nation, and that God has chosen America to spread the gospel to the heathen nations of the world. Remember what Ann Coulter said (and continues to say) after 9-11: We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity. (Clearly our President agrees with her.) It brings a tear to my eye to hear such compassion. In fairness, there are many good Christians in our country who do not think that Jesus would have been an NRA member, but I gotta tell you: I certainly don't hear them speaking out against the evils that their "Christian" brethren are perpetrating in God's name. Seems to me that Jesus would've spoken out. But hey, what do i know, I'm not Christian. Why is it that the only activist "Christians" are the ones killing abortion doctors and protesting two loving people's legal right to get married? These are people who blindly believe George Bush when he claims to be Christian despite the fact he launched a pre-emptive war on a nation that he knew was not an imminent threat, killing over 100,000 Iraqis so far, despite the fact that he takes from the poor and gives to the wealthy, despite the fact that in one of the greatest humanitarian crises we've ever seen (the recent Tsunami, which has decimated various countries and left over 120,000 dead), George Bush stayed on vacation and didn't say a word until 3 days after the event, and when he did, it was to pledge an amount of money equal to what we spend in 5 hours in Iraq, only increasing that amount after being shamed by the UN. If that's Christianity, then I don't want to be Saved.

3. Unintelligent or extremely naive People. These are generally speaking poor, working-class people who believe the hype from the current administration that somehow sending American jobs overseas, making it harder to get a good education, slashing taxes for the rich while raising the tax burden on people who actually do work for a living, destroying the air we breathe and water we drink in the name of higher corporate profits, sending our sons and daughters overseas to kill innocent people in an unjust war based on lies the President told the American people, gutting the bill of rights, torturing prisoners and then trying to justify the torture of prisoners, hand over the tax dollars of hard-working Americans to religious institutions, perpetrating massive voter fraud, making life increasingly unpleasant and even dangerous for Americans overseas through unjust policies and strongarming weaker nations into joining the war in Iraq, destroying Social Security, and bankrupting America while simultaneously putting us at the financial mercy of countries like China will somehow improve the lives of the average citizen.

4. Mean Spirited People. These are racists, sexists, anti-semites, xenophobes, homophobes, and other assholes who vote in favor of policies that are detrimental to non-whites, immigrants, jews, foreigners, gay people, and women. Let's face it people: The Klan doesn't vote for democrats.

You could possibly include a 5th type of Republican, Gun nuts. These are people who demand an absolute right to any firearm they want. They seem to have no problem justifying ownership of an Uzi, Mac-19, or AK-47, presumably to go deer hunting or to protect themselves in the event of judgment day. However, I've never met a gun nut who wasn't also a member of one of the 4-above groups. If you're a gun nut, but you aren't mean spirited, greedy, stupid, or Christian, please let me know and I will amend my categorization.

Fishy Quote #4

Me: Did you hear that Jerry Orbach died?
Fishy: Was he the popcorn guy?